It’s been almost a year since my first day of medical school, and this first year, “MS1”, is finally coming to a close. Writing as a form of procrastination, I’m staring in the face of my last final and will fly to India the following day, where I will spend three weeks working with the widows and women of rural Andhra Pradesh on feminine hygiene. I promise, dear readers, that you will hear more about this project later, as time allows.
It’s been a wild year, so wild in fact that I can hardly differentiate or recall many of its details, as days tend to blend together while staring at my computer screen… That said, this year has had many highlights, many memorable moments, and more than a few “learning opportunities”…
Going into medical school, I was convinced that I would take care of myself, maintain friendships both in and out of medical school, continue to write, and somehow get enough sleep. However, with an all too often empty refrigerator, free pizza several times a week, and an ever crushing workload, it’s been difficult to take the time to luxuriate in past enjoyments or even finish conversations (much less the copious amounts of “me time” to which I had grown accustomed). Instead, I languish away in medical school, watching others live their twenties through the lens of facebook, while I torture my brain and preserve my skin, enjoying the great indoors of lecture halls, libraries, and my cluttered office. This past year and for the foreseeable future, time off is not really time off (it is a time to sleep, or, better yet, watch the several weeks of classes that I have yet to stream…).
Almost one year in. How do I feel? Tired. I don’t have the same energy or enthusiasm for my studies that I had during my first semester. However, for the most part, I still enjoy what I am doing and am happy with my decision to go to medical school. As my reader can tell from my tone, I’ve had my fair share of frustrations, but mostly I’m just tired. (And a little bit stressed.) I also wish that I had more time to devote to intellectual and personal pursuits outside of medicine, as demonstrated by the forty or so tabs currently open on my browser (to “read later” of course…). But for now, I am learning. More than ever, I know what I am working towards and I know that the sacrifices I am making will be justified.
One thing that this past year has reminded me of is that the active pursuit of knowledge must be part of my life (these past few weeks, distracted from my course work, I’ve missed the stimulating environment and intellectual freedom of Reed College). Whichever specialty I choose, I feel that I will fit best into an academic setting, one where I can have side pursuits (public health, global health) and where others share similar ideals and desires to expand knowledge.
Until then, I will work.
More on India soon.